Two pennies worth

These few days have been hard seeing what had happened to PYH.. I tried to move one and actually with my deepest respect refrained from not talking nor showing any more sad images. I'd like to remember him as the cheerful Sang-hyuk in WLS but what really got me is the mystery that brought his young life to an end.

It's been speculated that depression was a factor but later on the news revealed that alcohol was the main culprit. In my opinion a clear minded/normal person who just drank so much would likely make himself paralytic and eventually get alcohol poisoning in which case he would then be brought to a hospital but if lucky would just have a miserable hangover the day ahead which means he'd be in bed feeling sorry for what he did. But a person suffering from a mental illness such as depression combined this with alcohol would certainly produced a catastrophic result- one is suicide. With PYH this could be the case.

Why am I delving on this matter when in fact I should have left the whole thing out? I couldn't as I am too close to the issue and for my peace of mind I'd like to air what I feel about this. Few months ago I had bouts with the illness. Coming from a culture which shoved this thing under the carpet plus knowing people who actually asked why you feeling that way made things even worst. You continue living as if things are fine, put a happy face, bombard yourself with errands which you can't certainly cope then comes a traumatic experience which you try to endure. One day somebody said something and the world fell apart. Days of crying became weeks then months. You feel so low that your brain couldn't handle it anymore, no joy could uplift your spirit, and you feel so alone and nobody wants you or needs you. You feel like a failure and all the good things you did in the past didn't matter as if they didn't exist at all. It becomes a cycle and it feeds itself everyday until you just want to disappear from the face of the Earth. As the feeling grows you plan how to do it. It's so strong that if you are on your own it could be the end. Luckily on my part I found the will to call my husband but even that needed so much effort and inner strength to do.

I feel so sorry for PYH. If only there was someone with him or he found that will to grab the phone and speak to somebody then it would have not ended this way. We can only speculate what these celebrities go through but let's not forget that they are only humans like us who feel the same thing- pride, happiness, disappointments, loneliness and fulfilments. Problems in life don't choose the bearer nor so depression.

If you find that your friend stops talking to you for a while, take time to ring them. Don't fall on the trap that she/he hasn't rung you so be it and if you feel low and lonely try to speak to someone about it. Don't be ashamed or afraid. Someone is always there to listen and could lend a helping hand..have faith.